[Minghui Net] Early in March, I couldn't go to the European Dafa Experience Sharing Meeting because the Chinese Embassy in Canada refused to extend my passport. In the beginning of April, when I learned that the United Nations Human Rights Commission would be meeting in Geneva, I felt I just had to go somehow. As it happened, several days later I was granted Canadian citizenship, and I obtained a Canadian passport. Thus, I had what it took to go to Geneva.
All three members of my family are Dafa practitioners. At first I thought, should I go by myself or should we all go together? Since my family finances were quite tight, if my whole family went, we would definitely have heavy financial burdens. But at last I decided that the whole family should go, because Dafa needed to be upheld by all of us. More persons would mean more righteous minds; more righteous minds would make a bigger energy field.
After solving this problem, the next step was to decide when to leave and how long we should stay there. Since I was very busy at the time we made the decision, I couldn't leave immediately, nor could I plan to be gone for a long time. I intended to depart on April 8th and get back on the 18th. Although I knew the Human Rights Commission would vote on the China human rights issue on the 18th, I still decided to return to Canada on that date in order to not adversely affect my job. Therefore, I applied for leave only until the 18th and felt at ease, thinking I had done my best for Dafa.
On the second day after I arrived at Geneva, I discovered that my heart was still not pure. I had not regarded helping Teacher rectify the Fa as most important; instead, I had taken my job as most important. I didn't consider how many days Dafa needed me to stay in Geneva. Instead, I first looked at how many days my job would allow me to take off. Wasn't I protecting my own fundamental interests? Hadn't I made "assisting Teacher to rectify the Fa" a hobby? How much does Dafa weigh in my heart overall? Was I really cultivating? Wasn't I hanging on to the deepest of attachments? I had to remove this attachment. Thus, I decided to extend my leave permit. Everyone in my family had to pay an extra CA$200 processing fee, for a total of CA$600. This was a considerable expense for me, but I was willing to make this sacrifice for Dafa. But how long should I extend it? Should I stay until after the voting or after the Human Rights Commission was finished? I couldn't decide. The next morning, I saw Teacher's new scripture, "Suggestion." I was shocked, but felt lucky because, having realized my deepest attachment before I saw the new scripture, I could judge myself to be excluded from those less diligent practitioners mentioned.
Later, I asked a fellow European practitioner's opinion about how long we were needed to stay in Geneva. She said she didn't know, but that there wouldn't be too many activities after the voting on the 18th. This was the excuse I had been looking for, so I decided to stay until the 21st, thinking there would be other practitioners who would also stay until the last day. I was very happy, and said to a fellow practitioner: "See? When you give up your attachment and think solely for Dafa, you won't lose anything that really belongs to you. I both upheld the Fa and kept my job. That's just perfect."
On the morning of the 14th, a fellow practitioner said, "If my visa is approved, I'll stay until the last day of the meeting." Her words hit me like a stick on the head, and I was shaken awake. I finally realized that cultivation is a personal matter, and no one could take my place. The reason I couldn't decide the date to which I should extend my permit was that I still had not given up my fundamental attachments, and was still measuring my losses and gains. When Dafa needed my protection, the first thing I thought of was how to protect my own interests, not how to uphold Dafa. What was the difference between my behavior and that of those people mentioned in Teacher's scripture--those who only want to gain from Dafa and don't want to sacrifice for Dafa? Wasn't I judging someone the same as myself? How deep was my attachment buried inside! I never found out about it, and didn't want to face it even when I faintly perceived it. Now that I think of it, it was really dangerous and formidable. After I became clear-minded about this, I decided to overcome it and give it up. So I decided to go to the airport on the same day and change the date on our tickets to the last day of the meeting.
On my way to the airport, a fellow practitioner said to me, "It's unnecessary to extend your tickets to the last day, because we don't know the result of the vote yet. You should make a decision after the result comes out. Besides, we can't do much after the voting." I said, "Teacher doesn't care much about the results of the vote; he cares most about our hearts and our improvement. No matter what the result will be, the evil forces will still be here. Our determination about Dafa that's as unbreakable as stone, and the powerful field created by our righteous minds will strongly suffocate the evil and help Teacher to rectify the Fa." She agreed with me, and also extended her ticket to the last day of the human rights meeting.
How true is the proverb "a long trip shows the best horse, and time reveals a person's heart!" The greater the pressure, the more completely our attachments are exposed. I finally understood that the process of clarifying the truth and suffocating the evil in Geneva also included discovering and eliminating our deepest attachments.
A Dafa Particle from Canada
April 15th, 2001
