(Minghui.org)
Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I began to practice Falun Dafa in 1997. I would like to report to Master and share with fellow practitioners my cultivation experiences in doing technical support. Please point out anything in my sharing that isn't in accordance with the Fa.
Everyone in my family practices Falun Dafa. My husband is good at working with computer hardware, while I am good at the software side.
This year, our local coordinator asked us to help support another area in rebuilding their hardware components. At the time, my husband was too busy to help out, so another practitioner suggested that I learn how to do it. I reacted negatively to the suggestion because I felt that anything related to computer hardware should be done by men only. In reality, I was actually familiar with hardware technology since I had helped my husband build a computer many times in the past. Still, I felt overwhelmed and didn't feel confident that I could do it by myself.
With encouragement, I began to learn the different hardware components. My husband taught me step by step how to build a computer and a printer. After he left home to go to work, I tried to do what he had shown me but would often make mistakes. After many unsuccessful attempts, my husband became impatient and blamed me for not trying harder. I got upset and wanted to give up, but my husband calmed down and continued to teach me.
I later realized that I didn't allow others to point out my shortcomings. Although I had had this attachment for a long time, it was very hard for me to eliminate it. I remembered Master's words:
“In order to explore this domain, humankind must fundamentally change its conventional thinking. Otherwise, the truth of the universe will forever remain a mystery to humankind, and everyday people will forever crawl within the boundary delimited by their own ignorance.” (“Lunyu” from Zhuan Falun)
I realized that I was being held back by the notion that work related to hardware was for men only. I had to break through this notion and master the technology.
I began to take pictures of any mistakes I made during the assembly process to avoid repeating them. As a result, building the hardware got easier and I became more skilled in this area. However, I once made a mistake during the construction process and damaged a part without realizing it. When my husband saw the damaged part, he got angry at me. I didn't argue back and kept quiet. Blaming myself for the mistake, I felt deflated.
I later looked within and realized that I still had a strong attachment of not letting others point out my shortcomings, the attachment of resentment, and doing things carelessly. This is cultivation, so I have to cultivate my heart and be more confident. I should persevere and walk my cultivation path more wisely and steadily. After that incident, I paid more attention to the assembly process, and my skills improved even more. Furthermore, I haven't made any more mistakes.
I went to another county to teach the practitioners there how to build a printer. At that time, Practitioner A from a different county was also there. Practitioner A also had knowledge of hardware technology. He kept telling us about all the technology he knew and wouldn't stop. I tried to stay calm while he was talking. I didn't remember Master's words, “But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate a person psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make him or her improve.” (Lecture Four in Zhuan Falun) I eventually lost my temper and said some unkind words to him. After this incident, practitioners from A's county stopped contacting us.
Practitioner B, who went with me that time, pointed out my attachment of looking down on others and that I had a short temper. I also looked within. I knew I was narrow-minded and got easily irritated. I couldn't tolerate other people's shortcomings. Although I had improved my technical skills, I hadn't improved my xinxing.
Afterwards, when I went to other areas to help with technical issues, I remembered to cultivate myself and control my temper when practitioners' ideas or actions didn't agree with mine. I tried to understand their viewpoint. I now feel my heart has became broader.
Several years ago, I had a strong attachment to zealotry and the show-off mentality. I would show-off at every opportunity, and no matter how I regretted it later, I didn't eliminate the attachment. Through Fa-study, I realized that the attachment to zealotry and showing-off were not my true self. I then reminded myself to talk less around people in order to suppress and eliminate the attachments. After a while, I could feel the attachments getting weaker, and I could control my xinxing better.
It also doesn't help when practitioners assume those with technical skills have cultivated well and constantly praise them. This type of behavior and thinking isn't based on the Fa and only encourages practitioners with technical skills to be attached to zealotry and showing off. Master has told us to measure a practitioner based on his or her xinxing level,
“You should not follow or listen to him because he has supernormal abilities, supernatural powers, or because he can see some things. You will do him harm, as he will develop the attachment of zealotry and end up losing everything and having them switched off. In the end, he will stumble.” (Zhuan Falun)
When I taught practitioners about technology, I didn't teach them more than what they asked of me. If they ran into problems, I preferred to fix the issue myself rather than show them how to do it. It wasn't because I didn't have the time to teach them, but that I chose not to share more information with them.
When practitioners had technical issues and asked others for help instead of me, I was unhappy. When practitioners talked about technology I wasn't familiar with, I felt uneasy. I asked myself why I felt this way and why I was unhappy. I realized it was because of jealousy.
I once met a local practitioner who had a strong attachment to jealousy; she didn't act like a practitioner. I pitied her. So why did I see her behavior? Was it because I also had a strong attachment to jealousy? Master said, “There is this rule: If in the course of cultivation practice jealousy is not given up, one will not attain Right Fruit—absolutely not.” (Zhuan Falun) I had to eliminate the attachment of jealousy.
I began to teach others everything I had learned and asked other practitioners to help. I should be happy when others learn the technical skills. I gradually felt more peaceful.
Since there aren't many practitioners with technical skills, I have to go to other areas to help. Sometimes I was so busy that I didn't have much time to study the Fa. As a result, the attachment to work became stronger, to the point that I liked to finish my work before I studied the Fa. I forgot that studying the Fa was the most important.
The less I studied the Fa, the busier I became. However, the work didn't go as smoothly. I ended up spending more time on work but got less done. I eventually drifted away from cultivation and only focused on doing the work.
Master has emphasized many times that practitioners should study the Fa more and study it well. Only when we study the Fa well, can we truly improve in cultivation and have strong righteous thoughts. Then there are no loopholes for the old forces to take advantage of and interfere with the Dafa work we are doing.
Realizing this, I made it a requirement for myself to do study the Fa and do the Falun Dafa exercises in the morning. I also did the exercises in the evening. Any non-urgent work was done in the afternoon.
During the past few years, it hasn't only been the practitioners with technical skills who have made this type of mistake in cultivation, but also several coordinators. The attachment to work can cause a practitioner to drift away from the Fa if it isn't eliminated immediately in the beginning. Otherwise, it will bring more attachments and obstacles in cultivation, and the evil will also cause interference.
Although I still have many attachments to eliminate, I am not afraid of them. Since I have Master and Dafa with me, they will eventually get weaker.
I have enlightened that my technical skills are given by Master to fulfill my mission and my vow. It is Master who has opened up my wisdom. I only have myself to blame if I don't do well. I am far from the Fa's requirements, since I am not as diligent as when I first obtained the Fa, I haven't eliminated my attachments quickly, and sometimes I am lazy.
I apologize to Master, the sentient beings, and myself. I must keep up with Fa-study and wake up my main consciousness. I should constantly remind myself of the purpose of my life and do the three things well.
I will try my best to do well. Master, please rest assured.