(Minghui.org) Greetings, compassionate Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I would like to share my cultivation experience during the process of learning computer skills and becoming a technical expert.
My hometown used to have many practice sites. Even after July 20, 1999, various truth clarification materials could be seen everywhere. However, after the authorities carried out more severe persecution, it was very hard to get truth-clarifying materials, and even Minghui Weekly was rarely seen.
Learning to Use a Computer
The authorities carried out a mass arrest of practitioners in my city in March 2002, after which our local practitioners were not in contact with each other. With Master's help, we got together again and gradually reformed as one body. We were able to set up more materials production sites by the end of 2006. However, the supply lagged far behind the demand. In many areas it was still hard to get the materials. The coordinators from my area had to carry a lot of materials and travel a long way to deliver them to other practitioners every week.
After I was released, I realized the urgent need for materials. I decided to buy a computer and learned how to access Minghui.org. Practitioner A had good computer skills and helped me purchase a used laptop. In March 2007, I finally managed to access Minghui.org.
I was in my 50s when I started to learn to use a computer. When practitioner A taught me the first time, I had no idea what she was talking about. I had to write down everything she said, follow each step and practice again and again after she left.
She came to teach me twice, but afterward didn't come again. I visited Minghui.org several times, and then was unable to access it because the FreeGate software had been updated. However, I couldn’t figure out why at that time and there was no one I could turn to for help. Many times I sat looking at my laptop with tears in my eyes.
Master saw my heart, and gave me a hint. I remembered the story of how practitioner A learned to use a computer. She was first taught by a young practitioner. However, before she fully learned, the young practitioner who had been teaching her was arrested with his mom, who also practiced Falun Gong, and within two weeks both of them died from torture and abuse. Instead of being scared and hesitant, practitioner A joined a computer class, through which she managed to obtain all the necessary skills. Her determination greatly inspired me.
I enlightened that I should attend a computer class to get myself ready. There were many obstacles at the time. My mom, who was in her 80s, was almost blind; she needed me to look after her every day. My husband passed away many years ago, so I had to work to pay for my children’s college tuition. My two sisters had renounced Dafa under the pressure and enlightened along an evil path. This brought me much interference which I had to deal with and overcome.
People usually graduated from the computer class within two weeks, but it took me six months! Most of the students were young people and I rarely saw people my age.
During those six months, the computer class changed instructors twice. The first two instructors finished their terms and left before I was able to graduate. During the third instructor’s term, I finally acquired the skills and managed to graduate.
I still remember that once when I stood in front of the building of the computer class. my legs felt extremely heavy and I hesitated to enter the building. Then Master’s words came into my mind:
“Students in Mainland China actually have a much tougher time. Their materials production sites are basically at a household level, and they spring up everywhere. In other words, people walk their own paths. Each person, or some that are coordinating with each other on a small scale, is walking his own path.” (“Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005”)
I realized that practitioners in my area, including myself, had not yet walked our own path. The supply of the materials was still far behind the demand. I must go in and obtain the skill, as it was needed by fellow practitioners to help save people. As my mind became clear, I became determined and went into the class.
After I graduated, I managed to access Minghui.org and also helped fellow practitioners learn to use a computer. However, the interference didn’t stop after my graduation. Next, my laptop broke down. I asked my local coordinator to buy me a new computer and gave him the money. Unfortunately, before he was able to deliver the computer to me, he was arrested and my new computer was taken away by the police. I bought a third computer on my own. It was a used one, as I couldn’t afford a new one because of my financial difficulty. The third one broke down within six months, so I had to purchase a fourth one, which was used as well. I felt very pressed.
I looked inward, and realized that I was in a state of doing things and being in a hurry to succeed. This was a loophole taken advantage of by the old forces to interfere with me. In my mind, I talked to the fourth computer, and adjusted myself according to Dafa. Afterward, the fourth computer worked very well and never broke down.
A miraculous thing happened during this time. I had a portable hard drive with 20GB of storage. In order to let a fellow practitioner install a new operating system in my computer, I transferred many files to my portable hard drive from the computer. After the new operating system was successfully installed, the computer showed that the capacity of my portable hard drive was 30GB. I didn’t understand why and asked the fellow practitioner: “Did you enlarge my hard drive’s capacity?” He said, “No, it’s not me. It's Master. It's because your capacity has expanded. ”
Learning to Install the Computer Operating System
In 2012, two mass arrests occurred in my city, during which practitioners in charge of equipment purchase and operating system installation for materials production sites were taken into custody and persecuted.
I felt that this was an attempt by the evil forces to cut off our lifeline of equipment and technical supplies. I enlightened that I needed a breakthrough to learn how to run the materials production site completely on my own. So after these two incidents, I began to purchase printing equipment and consumables on my own. I tried to operate my materials production site independently.
I was determined to make a breakthrough to learn how to install an operating system, which was extremely difficult for me in the past. The key to this process was to break through my human notions.
In July 2012 I tried to install an operating system for the first time. I used a system disk left by a fellow practitioner and tried to install it in my computer as the second operating system. I could hardly proceed in the beginning, and often stopped at certain steps with no solution.
However, I kept a thought firmly in my mind, “Unmoved, unaffected, strive to the end.” When I stopped at a certain step and couldn’t proceed at all, I would start all over again from the very beginning. After countless times, I successfully installed the operating system on the third day. I didn’t know what caused the problems before or how I solved the problems. I was using the same system disk and the same method, keeping my heart unaffected with persistence.
I continued practicing for three months to acquire the skill. In October 2012, I installed an operating system for a fellow practitioner and it was successful. This greatly increased my confidence.
Gradually more and more practitioners asked me to install operating systems for them. During this process I had many opportunities to encounter problems and conflicts. Once, I was invited to a fellow practitioner’s home to install an operating system. Her computer was a desktop computer, the structure of which I had never seen before. She needed to leave home and left her family member with me. I turned on her computer, but couldn’t locate any USB ports. Her relative looked at me doubtfully, as if she were saying, “Why were you asked to install an operating system when you can't even locate the USB port?” I felt embarrassed but didn’t give up. After several attempts, I managed to complete the installation.
However, the evil was afraid of practitioners visiting Minghui.org and had her family break down the system. I had to go back and reinstall it, but afterward her relative broke it down again. This happened repeatedly and I had to do re-installation again and again. I knew it was interference by the evil. My heart remained unaffected, and I kept studying the Fa more. At the same time, I looked inward and exchanged my understanding with the fellow practitioner. We encouraged each other to do well what we should do, and reminded each other that we would not let the old forces accomplish its evil purpose. After I reinstalled the system for the sixth time, it didn’t fail again. Now, the fellow practitioner is not only able to visit Minghui.org, but has also set up a materials production site at her home.
Another time I helped a practitioner install an operating system, but it always failed no matter how I tried. It wasn't until the third day that I finally had the operating system ready. The fellow practitioner said, “You really have great patience.” However, I knew that the repeated failures were caused by my attachments, as well as the technical problems that I needed to break through.
I looked inward. It was my attachment of dependence on others. Although I had learned some computer skills, my human notions led me to be self-satisfied and stick to what I already had. I was reluctant to explore more skills that seemed harder to learn, leaving them to other practitioners to fix. These notions chained me and blocked me from breaking through myself.
As more and more materials production sites were set up, the demand for practitioners with good computer skills increased. However, only a few practitioners in my city had the necessary skills. I enlightened that I should get rid of depending on others. Instead of waiting for other practitioners to fix tough technical problems, I should learn to manage them on my own.
Practitioner B, who often helped me with difficult computer problems, told me a story. Several years ago, a technical expert practitioner noticed the high demand for technical support, and thus set up a computer training class to teach fellow practitioners to install operating systems. A lot of practitioners came in the beginning. Everyone took notes and listened carefully. However, as the training went further and began to touch difficult problems, the “students” became fewer and fewer. When the technical expert practitioner taught tough technical problems, there were no “students” left. I enlightened through studying the Fa that this story was for me. It was time for me to break through myself. Master said,
“Many Dafa disciples speak about 'helping Master rectify the Fa,' or 'whatever Master wants, that’s what we will do.' And it is said with conviction. But as soon as Master actually has you go and do something that doesn’t agree with your thinking, or when things are a bit challenging, you completely lose track of that righteous thought about helping Master.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa - Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference”)
Master also taught us the Fa principle of not waiting and not being dependent. I enlightened that we should not wait for technical expert practitioners to teach us. We should take the initiative to learn and obtain the skills.
Since I began to learn computer skills and set up materials production sites in 2007, I noticed that independent technical support was greatly needed after more and more materials production sites were set up. I reminded myself at every moment to not wait and not be dependent, and I cultivated to remove the attachment of dependence.
Letting Go of Myself
After realizing that having materials production sites spring up everywhere was the need of Fa rectification, I began to help fellow practitioners learn to use computers.
Practitioner C detected some virus in her computer. I suggested that she reinstall the whole operating system. She refused. She wanted to solve the problem by sending forth righteous thoughts only, which would not delay the process of producing the materials. I thought the computer would not be secured without reinstalling the operating system, so I persuaded her until she agreed. However, my re-installation failed, which caused her computer to be unable to run. In the end, she had to look to practitioner D for help.
After the incident, I happened to see practitioner D in a shopping mall. She criticized me right to my face, “Why did you insist on re-installing her operating system? And you even couldn’t make it on your own! Do you know how much trouble this has caused?” Her words really threw me and I felt wronged. It took me quite a while to calm down. I then forced myself to look within. I searched and reviewed my previous thoughts, “I want to help the production sites spring up everywhere;” “I want to teach practitioners to use computers;” “I want to ask everyone to catch up with Fa-rectification process” … I realized that all my thoughts were about me, what I wanted to do and my opinions. The so-called “I” had interfered with other practitioners’ paths arranged by Master. I was grateful for Master’s hints and practitioner D’s reminder.
Identifying my attachment didn’t mean I got rid of it. It took time to remove the attachment after I realized I had it.
Master said, “…the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments.” (Lecture One in Zhuan Falun)
I only realized that I was using my own opinions to require things of other people, but I hadn’t found the root of my issues. In the spring of 2012, I noticed practitioner C took on almost all the work of producing truth clarification materials for other practitioners, which would breed their dependence and block them from walking their own path. I talked to her and advised her to give some work to others so they could develop their own materials production sites. However, she immediately said, “Don’t direct me!” I was surprised and didn't know what to say. This time, I didn’t feel wronged. But I still hadn’t figured out what my root problem was.
I calmed down and studied the Fa carefully. Gradually I felt clear. It was my ego “I” putting myself above others. I did often direct other practitioners. In order to give up this attachment, I created a notepad in my computer and wrote down, “Always put oneself in a lower position. Look within at every moment. Even when doing good things for others, be mindful of not talking as if giving a lecture or as if I was others' teacher. Don't show off to get recognized or praised. Be alert that it's dangerous to play oneself up, as it is the portent of breeding demons in your own mind.”
In the second half of 2012, as I was talking with practitioner C, she suddenly enlightened that she should let other practitioners do more work so everyone can start their own sites and walk their own path. Under her help and encouragement, four more materials production sites were set up. Two practitioners who were in their 70s set up their own sites. Two other elderly practitioners began to learn how to use a mouse.
This reminded me of a practitioner’s sharing, “If something has been done well, it is the manifestation of the power of Dafa, instead of oneself. If something isn’t done well, it is the problem of oneself that blocks Dafa from manifesting the power.” This is really true. I deeply realized from the experience that removing “me” and selfishness, the Fa is all-powerful.
Once I went to a group Fa-study and helped practitioners solve some problems. A practitioner said to me with a heshi gesture, “Savior!” I stopped him and told him not to say this. But their expression still showed appreciation and admiration. I became alert. Several days later, I went to another practitioner’s home to fix her computer problems. Her appearance really scared me when I first saw her. Half of her face was badly out of shape because of serious sickness interference. Through sharing with her, I learned that practitioners around her all depended on her and very much admired her. She was addicted to others’ admiration. As a result, the serious sickness interference came to her. I enlightened that the sickness interference was just an illusion, and that looking within to upgrade xinxing is how practitioners really should cultivate.
After I looked within, I sent practitioner C an email with my sharing as the following.
When I first installed operating system for practitioners, some didn’t trust me and said to me, “Don’t try to fool me!” It badly hurt me. But I was aware that it was a test so I could continue walking forward despite difficulties. Now, however, the test I’m facing is that practitioners say “Savior” to me with heshi. I need to stay clear facing such appreciation and admiration, which is actually more difficult. How many practitioners who had walked through extremely difficult hardships suffered persecution because of falling into the trap of “appreciation,” “dependence,” “admiration” and “support.” Some even bred demons in their own minds and later damaged the Fa. Recall what you said to me before, “Don’t direct me” and “You are giving me a lesson again.” Although I felt wronged at that time, I’m very grateful to you now. Those words are very precious. I really hope more practitioners can remind me like that!
I was a person filled with loftiness and puffiness. Through more than ten years of cultivation, Master and Dafa have helped me realize how insignificant I am. I’m so insignificant that without the Fa I can hardly move forward and without Master I’m even not protected. I very much cherish the cultivation opportunities during the process of installing operating systems. I remind myself at every moment: it is not me helping fellow practitioners. I’m just one cultivating among them. I should always put myself beneath others!
While placing oneself beneath others in cultivation, we should stand tall in front of difficulties. I’m nearly 60 years old. I knew nothing about computers, but now I’m able to install operating systems on my own, although I did experience some hardships during the process.
The support for Windows XP will end in April next year. I have to upgrade the current operating systems to Windows 7. It seems to me that there will be a lot of new things to learn, for which I’ll need to restart from my “heart” [The words “New” and “Heart” in Chinese have the same pronunciation]. It is really hard! But Master has taught us the Fa principles of pushing forward in front of the challenges and “always cultivating as if you were just starting.” So I encourage myself, “I’m a Dafa disciple selected by Master. I’m a being created by Dafa. I should loudly say, with confidence, to the whole universe that ‘I am a technical expert practitioner!’”
Heshi.