(Minghui.org) I obtained Dafa in 1997. I had always worked in the technical field, but Dafa gave me wisdom and my technical skills improved significantly.

I was often responsible for new product design and development. Over time I started to think highly of myself and started looking down upon coworkers without much technical background.

After a while, my coworkers gave me feedback regarding issues with my product's design. I carefully investigated, but didn't find any problems, although there were arguments about this at several technical meetings.

Management later decided not to accept my design. They organized a team to come up with new design ideas and arranged for me to be their assistant. I was not happy about that and could not accept the fact that these inexperienced young people were giving me orders. More arguments led to unpleasant working relationships. At the same time, I started facing some health issues and had to go on leave.

Resting at home, I still couldn’t let go of what happened at work. Even when I was doing the meditation exercise, my mind was not calm. While sharing with practitioners, I realized that I should look inward for attachments. However, as soon as I thought about the problem at work, I still felt I was right, so I didn’t get to my fundamental attachment.

My health problem worsened. Sometimes I even had doubts about whether I could continue to cultivate. I knew that thought was not mine, that it was arranged by the old forces to persecute me. If I didn’t eliminate it, it would result in severe consequences.

I passed the test of thought karma, but the issue remained. I knew I had loopholes in my cultivation and a stronger attachment that I hadn’t relinquished. The old forces took advantage of my loopholes and persecuted me. I made it a point to study the Fa more.

Master says,

“You will be made to abandon all those attachments that cannot be given up among everyday people. As long as you have them, all of those attachments must be removed in different environments. You will be made to stumble, whereby you will become enlightened to the Tao. This is how one goes through cultivation practice.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)

I realized that conflict is an opportunity for us to improve our xinxing and eliminate attachments. When we face conflict, if we do not follow the path Master arranged for us and, instead, handle the conflict like an everyday person would, we will be deviating from the righteous path.

When the conflict at work first happened, if I had looked inward to identify my fundamental attachment and eliminate it, the problem would have been resolved. But my attachment was too strong, which prevented me from looking inward. I handled it like an everyday person, thinking others were out to get me.

So I didn’t pass the test. I then developed additional attachments, such as a competitive mentality and jealousy. I made things harder for myself, and it became too difficult to pass with my xinxing level at the time. Therefore, the old forces found an excuse to persecute me.

Fortunately Master gave me a hint on the cultivation principles. I started searching inward carefully: What is the attachment that I could not let go? I found my attachment to money and fame--and to vanity: compliments made me happy; criticism upset me and made me want to argue. They led to my developing a competitive mentality. When I heard others were better than me technically, I was even more unhappy and got jealous.

Because the fundamental attachment of thinking I was better than others was so strong, it could control my thoughts, and the other, related attachments started to grow. It wasn't easy to identify them.

After I found this fundamental attachment, I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it every day. Several days later, I recovered and was able to regain my peace of mind.

In the meantime, at work, management again asked me to develop new products.

More importantly, I knew better how to cultivate going forward.

This is my personal understanding. Please point out anything inappropriate.