(Minghui.org) After I was released from a detention center in 2001, my employer refused to allow me to return to work because I would not submit a guarantee statement promising not to practice Falun Gong. I could then only find sporadic work as a laborer. Because I was often not paid timely or at all, my financial situation became worse and worse.
These tribulations prompted me to examine my cultivation state. Were these arranged by the old forces or by Master Li? I realized these were tricks by the old forces: the loss of a decent job and struggling to work as a seasonal laborer. This interference distracted me from doing the three things. I thus sent forth righteous thoughts to deny these arrangements. Amazingly, the company called my family and invited me to return to work.
However, I was illegally arrested at my workplace on March 18, 2003. I was tortured during their inquisition, which disabled my left hand.
During the four months that I then spent in a detention center, I explained how the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) was persecuting Falun Gong to the prisoners around me. All the prisoners in my cell block subsequently withdrew from the CCP and its affiliated organizations. To validate the Fa effectively, I strictly followed the requirements of being a practitioner. The officer in charge of the detention unit even gave me a thumbs-up and said, “Very good!” I believe Master was speaking through him to encourage me.
I was later illegally sentenced to a forced labor camp for one year. I thought I had been improving in cultivation, so I was surprised when this happened. The old forces were taking advantage of attachments I had not yet found. When I looked inward, I found three strong attachments: sentimentality, especially for colleagues, and pursuing being released.
It is not easy to remove attachments that are rooted in different dimensions. They seemed to disappear after I sent righteous thoughts in the morning, but the attachments were there again at noon. I had to keep deleting them layer by layer, like peeling a huge onion. Gradually, the attachment of sentimentality towards colleagues faded and was finally eliminated, but the overall attachment of sentimentality remained strong. At times crazy thoughts flashed into my mind, such as: “I will take reprisal against the person who disabled my left hand.”
I then remembered a short story about Guan Yu (one of the best known Chinese historical figures throughout East Asia) in the famous novel Romance of the Three Kingdoms. After he was killed, his spirit wandered in the sky and cried out, “Return my head!”
An abbot in a temple replied to the spirit, “But from whom should your victims ask for theirs?”
Guan Yu’s spirit became enlightened and then disappeared. I knew my recollection of this story was Master’s hint, and soon afterwards I eliminated sentimentality.
My left hand then recovered under Master's merciful protection.
I realized that it is important for us to distinguish between two paths: the one arranged by the old forces and the one by Master. If we firmly believe in Master and the Fa, we will not feel lost, lonely, or helpless, and we can then steadfastly cultivate according to Master's arrangements.
Please kindly point out any notions.
Category: Improving Oneself