(Minghui.org) I met two local practitioners in 2010, Ms. A and Mr. B, a couple in their late 70s. They lived with their grandson, who was in high school. This couple had no outside income and their life was very hard. Ms. A told me about her many hardships and I wanted to help.
I began to support them financially in 2011. I spent tens of thousands yuan and much time and energy on their behalf over the next three years. I helped them move, provided food, spent money on tuition for their grandson's education, and paid their rent.
I did all this by myself and said nothing to other local practitioners. I did not want other practitioners to take up their time on this or to criticize me for helping the old couple.
I was able to comfort Ms. A on many occasions. It was not hard to do as I felt, if I could help other practitioners during this difficult period, everything would be all right.
Mr. B had symptoms of severe a sickness and was in the hospital until 2014. His doctor said that Mr. B was experiencing critical systemic organ failure. Three days of treatment with a blood transfusion cost me 20,000 yuan.
This alerted me that I might have done something wrong. It was not up to me to say if Mr. B should be hospitalized. In ordinary society, if a poor person gets seriously ill, he may not be able to afford any treatment.
If Mr. B did not have the money for hospital treatment and thought no one would give him money for treatment, would he actually stay in the hospital? I realized that the blood of ordinary people contains a great deal of karma. I wondered if the old forces would use a transfusion to transmit some bad things to him, and then Master would have to bear it all for him.
If he had no money and did not go to the hospital, he might overcome the tribulation himself. I wondered what would happen if his faith wavered while being hospitalized and what this would mean for a cultivator.
Did I ruin him? What had I done?
I told practitioners in my Fa study group what I had done all these years, which now seemed to be wrong. One elderly practitioner said that he recently read Master's “Teaching the Fa at the Eastern U.S. Fa Conference.” In the lecture, Master talked about the issue of funding and my fellow practitioner suggested I read it. I immediately started to read it when I got home and saw this:
Question: If someone accepts well-intentioned gifts from a fellow practitioner over a long period of time, will he be losing his virtue endlessly?
Teacher: I’ll give you an example. A student’s family all of sudden gets into financial difficulties. For a cultivator, this hardship is very possibly the result of his owing this kind of debt in the past. During the karma elimination process, he must bear something like this, but it won’t last long. I’m saying that might be the case. Then, some students think that since he’s having such a hard time, “We should help him out.” How to help him? Everyone contributes some money, gives him money, and provides for his family. Well, he stops doing anything from then on. Other than studying the Fa, he just stays at home and lives on their money. A little later, he stops studying the Fa, too: “Just bring me the money and I’ll just live like this now.” Think about it, everyone. You do have compassion, but you can’t handle these things that way. Everyone has his own tribulations. You can assist him out of compassion by helping him find a job or by temporarily attending to some emergencies, but you absolutely can’t do that over a long period of time. You would be disrupting the path I arranged for him, and it would become impossible for him to cultivate. In the end, he would stop cultivating. He would stop looking for a job, and he wouldn’t want to solve the problem since he had money to spend, and he’d say, “Just bring me money every month.” Then, I’d say, what are the students really doing?
Gift giving? What’s gift giving? Someone gives someone else something? Why should someone you don’t know give you things? Okay, so you know each other and you’re all students. But, should a student casually give another student expensive things? Why would you do that? There needs to be a reason! Even if those aren’t expensive things, why do they keep supplying them for such a long time? Why? And why do you accept them? Is it because you can’t abandon your attachment to greed? Or are there other reasons? Why don’t you try to find them? That is unacceptable. This Dafa of ours doesn’t involve money or material possessions, and we don’t accumulate money or material possessions. You have come to practice cultivation, and with all of you sitting here, I don’t ask a penny from you. Why is it that when other people give you things, you can’t let it go? Here I’ll make a point about a particular issue: All those who work for Dafa, and all those who work for Master, regardless of the reason, you absolutely cannot accept anything from students. Things that are to be forwarded to Master must be given to Master to handle. Don’t take the liberty of handling those things on your own, don’t keep them for yourselves, hold onto them, or open letters or other things that are intended for Master.
“Then, I’d say, what are the students really doing?” Master's words indeed shocked me. I felt dizzy and restless, and did not know what to do. I regretted what I done so much that I felt sick to my stomach. I did not tell my family, and endured the discomfort on my own.
I considered what I should do. I decided to correct my mistake and immediately stop giving money to other practitioners. Of course, I do not blame those practitioners. Cultivators must look within themselves. These practitioners were the victims and I cannot blame them.
I wondered if I could let go of human attachments for other practitioners and stop worrying about their welfare. I decided I could. Master protects all Dafa disciples and they will get through their tribulations.
I focused on doing things from a human standpoint to handle problems that cultivators experience and hence caused more trouble for everyone. My cultivation stayed at the human surface level. I forgot the power that Dafa manifests in other dimensions. I lacked righteous thoughts and faith in Master and Dafa.
Do I regret what I did? Yes. Master has explained the Fa in all aspects, but I studied too little. I am sorry that I disappointed Master.
Dafa disciples should assist Master in the Fa-rectification. I, instead, gave more trouble to Master because I did not have a clear understanding of the Fa.
I was determined to study the Fa. I studied all the books and lectures as much as I could. I did not leave the house unless it was necessary. I completely let go of the attachment of worrying about practitioners. I calmed down and looked within so that I would not cause more tribulations to practitioners.
After some time passed, I went to Ms. A's home for a specific issue. She was smiling and looked well. She used to weigh only 77 pounds. Her appetite had improved, she began to eat better, and put on some weight.
Mr. B needed around-the-clock care after he was discharged from the hospital. Ms. A had no time to cook and only ate steamed buns brought by a practitioner while she cared for her husband.
One day her husband suddenly sat up in bed and said, “I am fine now.” He tried to walk. His swelling had totally disappeared, he stopped coughing, he could eat and breathe, and his mind was very clear. Previously, this could never have happened.
Although this ended wonderfully, I felt a certain sense of bitterness. It did not seem that I did anything wrong, but I was indeed very wrong. I cleared up my feelings of selfishness straight away.
It took me three years to finally understand this one Fa principle: “This Dafa of ours doesn’t involve money or material possessions.” It was a costly lesson. I can now understand the deep meaning of this Fa principle which I cannot express with words.
When I stopped worrying about another practitioner's life, I found I could let go of my own personal interests and greed. When I stop planning what to buy for other practitioners, I found the rope that bound me—human emotions, concerns, notions, and attachments—becoming untied.
I have finally disengaged myself from a heavy human shell and now feel very relaxed. My small boat is sailing at full speed with righteous thoughts, faith, and a pure heart, towards the long-awaited golden vessel to take me home.
Cultivation is so serious, and we must meet the standard. The only way is to give up all human things so that we can have the things of gods.
I can't express my gratitude to Master in words, and can only walk well my path in the future.
Thank you, Master, for your care. Thank you, fellow practitioners, for your help. Heshi!