(Minghui.org) I am a Falun Dafa practitioner who would like to share what I have learned about looking within myself when attempting to let go of attachments. The following situations describe how I was able to upgrade my xinxing and improve in my cultivation.
I work in my family’s hardware store. I don’t handle the financial side of the business and must depend on my husband to provide enough money for me to make change for customers. One morning I realized that I did not have enough to make change. Our customers had to wait for their change and were pretty impatient. I got very anxious and started shouting at my husband.
My fellow cultivators pointed out to me that, while my heart was good, and my motivation was also good, my behavior at that time was really not acceptable. An everyday person made a similar comment to me as well.
Master said:
“I often say this: When a person talks to someone else, if he points out that person’s shortcomings or tells him something without attaching any of his own notions, the other person will be moved to tears.” (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Singapore)
Later on, I started to pay attention to my speech. On one occasion, my husband brought me the wrong goods and I started to nag him. Suddenly, I began to realize that this was wrong. This was resentment and not how a practitioner of Falun Dafa should be. I needed to seize it and eliminate it. Then I felt a rush down my back and it was eliminated just like a shooting star!
One day, my daughter-in-law was beating and kicking my grandson in front of me. I had no clue as to what might have transpired for her to do that. I was very upset. I felt worse about the situation than if someone had been beating me!
When I settled down and started to think, I recalled that Master mentioned karmic retribution. Could it be that my grandson beat his mother like that in the past? Why did I witness it? It was my fault, as I adored my grandson and I always thought my daughter-in-law didn’t know how to love her children. My husband said, “You don’t have time to look after him. So don’t say anything and don’t get involved, either.”
I thought Master was using my husband's words to give me a hint. So my heart became calm and peaceful. When I looked around, I saw that my grandson was now laughing and playing with my daughter-in-law.
When I was studying the Fa with another practitioner, she read a word wrong by mistake. I pointed it out to her but she insisted that she didn’t read it wrong. Later, while sending righteous thoughts, she didn't hold her palm correctly. I spoke to her about it, but she insisted this did not happen. Sometimes I say I need to manage myself better. So why do I seem to always look at what others are doing and keep an eye on them? I got angry with myself. But why was I angry? This was not the real me.
Master said:
““He’s right,And I’m wrong,...””(“Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong” from Hong Yin III)
I came to understand that I need to be compassionate and endure more. To be angry is not right. So I calmly said to her, “We tend not to know when we read the words wrong. No one wanted to make a mistake. This is the Fa after all. In the future, if someone points out a reading mistake, can we just read it again no matter if it was read wrong or not?” She agreed.
After a while, she read another word wrong and refused to admit it, so I got angry again. This time I came to understand that she was helping me to upgrade my xinxing. I should not be angry.
Getting Rid of Impatience
On one occasion I was in a long line at a bank that moved very slowly. My fellow cultivators were due at my home to study the Fa that afternoon. I was anxious to get home. All of a sudden, the computer in the bank froze and no one could be helped.
I knew I was wrong so I talked to the computer in my mind: “I am wrong. I was impatient and that made you stop working. It was not right for me to be anxious.” After I finished talking to myself, the computer started to work again and I was not delayed in getting to the afternoon Fa study.
Each time I write an experience sharing article, I always want to write about myself and how well I am doing. Now I understand that my experiences are all manifestations of Master and the great Buddha Fa. I am only a particle of the Fa and I have not really done anything myself. It was just that my heart was in the right place and the divine power of the Buddha Fa could be displayed.