(Minghui.org) My life is difficult, but I know from studying the Fa that my mission is significant, that our own cultivation can significantly influence our family and friends. In this instance, after living with Dafa practitioners for 21 years, my father-in-law finally became a cultivator after witnessing my turnaround.

A Little Background

My husband has a younger brother. No matter what happened, my husband would always say, “I have only one younger brother.” What he implied was that, no matter what, as the sister-in-law, I should be tolerant. And as a fellow practitioner, I should be kind.

Everyone in our family practiced Falun Dafa—except my father-in-law. He often said that he was “Not cultivating in the Dao, yet already in the Dao.”

In this foreign country where we all now live, we sisters-in-law are supposed to be close. We came from the same town, and we are also fellow practitioners, but I don't know how complicated our predestined relationships are, since I seem to have had to pass test after test, and the last one dragged on for three years.

I want to start by recalling the 2016 Chinese New Year when my parents-in-law traveled thousands of miles to visit their grandchildren.

A Fateful New Year’s Eve Dinner

My husband and I worked as cooks to support our family. We supported not only the five members of our own family, but also my husband's brother’s family. On Chinese New Year’s Eve in 2016, my husband and I went out to work. My brother-in-law promised that he would get everything ready at home so I could do the cooking as I usually did when I got home.

My husband and I didn’t get home from work until after 9 p.m. Nothing had been prepared. My sister-in-law was clumsily warming up some lunch leftovers in the wok. Why? I did not know. I looked at my elderly parents-in-law and my hungry kids. Although I’d slept for only three hours, I had to start preparing things from scratch, but I finally got everything ready before midnight.

That New Year’s eve dinner was very unusual. Besides our two families, there were my parents-in-law, who had traveled all the way from China to visit us, plus we had invited two Chinese practitioners to celebrate with us. Although we were poor, I tried my best to cook as many dishes as I could, one of them with eight shrimp. There were 14 of us, including five children, but no one touched the shrimp. Everyone commented on how good the food was.

It might have been because I had the attachment of zealotry that I heard my sister-in-law say to her daughter, “See how your auntie was checking on you?” It was because her older daughter was the first to eat a shrimp.

In fact, I did not even notice, so why did she say that? Why did she make that false accusation? I could not helping thinking of all the times in the past she’d done that. I forgot that I was a cultivator and I was not tolerant. So I said, “Why is it that even with your mouth full, you can’t stop talking?”

When I looked up, I saw my mother-in-law in tears and the expressions on the faces of my husband and my brother-in-law seemed to say: “How could you have said something so self-centered and shameful on this special day?”

To lighten the mood (even though I was still furious), I pretended that I was calm and, with cup of soda in my hand, I went over to my sister-in-law and said, “I am sorry. I shouldn't have said that. May I propose a toast to you and also apologize to you.” She said, “I won't accept your toast.” I was shamed yet again and that was the end of our 2016 Chinese New Year’s eve dinner.

As we cleaned the table, my husband's younger brother said to me, “Don’t they all talk about how well you cultivate? How can you say you cultivate well based on what you just did? You did not pass that test.” My husband did not say a single word, but wore a long face. Even my older son said, “Why didn’t you consider the occasion? You seem to care about nothing. Why didn’t you think about how Grandpa and Grandma would feel?” I did not say anything, but my face was covered with tears.

I said to my mother-in-law, “Mom, I am sorry, I was wrong. Why wasn’t I tolerant?” My mother-in-law quoted something Master Li said:

“But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate a person psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make him or her improve.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)

Then she said, “My dear, it is not easy for you, you work so hard. Every day, you sleep for only three hours. I know you felt wrongfully accused.”

Time Passes

Cultivation is not easy. After that, we lived on our own and minded our own business. Master enlightened me several times, and I also understood that I needed to eliminate all those attachments. Although I understood, I still could not let go of the attachment of losing face.

If I did make something especially good, I’d usually just ask my kids to take some over to my brother-in-law’s family.

This year, 2019, my mother-in-law turned 70. She suddenly had difficulty walking, although she recovered after studying the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts. My in-laws then traveled thousands of miles to see us. I could not help thinking about my sister-in-law. Since I was not home, she should have come over to take care of my parents-in-law.

When I came home from work, I asked my mother-in-law if my sister-in-law had been by. My mother-in-law said, “No” and I felt very downhearted. For three years now, I did not pass several tests Master arranged for me. I hid the attachment and did not want it touched on.

A Breakthrough

About a month later, after I’d cleaned the house and got the food ready, I recited the Fa, knelt down in front of Master's Fa photo, and said: “I have been struggling with family sentimentality for too long. The Fa-rectification has come to this final stage, but I still haven't eliminated this attachment. Our family is fractured because of me, and we cannot form one body. This is a big loophole.

“When I promote the Fa at tourist sites, when I help people where I work quit the CCP, and when I make truth-clarifying phone calls, I am able to face it with courage and save people with compassion, no matter what they say or how badly they threaten me. I know I have a mission and I know the standards for a cultivator and I understand that I was wrong. I want to return home with Master. I want to be a qualified disciple and pass my tests. Master, please give me strength.”

I looked up at Master's photo, and the frame seemed to sound twice, as if saying “Okay” to encourage me.

I stood up and saw Master sitting there, looking at me calmly and with such compassion. Although it was only a few seconds, I felt a tremendous sense of peace. With thankful tears, I walked to my sister-in-law's home, recalling Master's teachings:

“Cultivation practice must take place through tribulations so as to test whether you can part with and care less about different kinds of human sentimentality and desires. If you are attached to these things, you will not succeed in cultivation. Everything has its karmic relationship. Why can human beings be human? It is because human beings have sentimentality. They live just for this sentimentality.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)

“If this sentimentality is not relinquished, you will be unable to practice cultivation. If you are free from this sentimentality, nobody can affect you. An everyday person’s mind will be unable to sway you. What takes over in its place is benevolence, which is something more noble.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)

When I got to my sister-in-law's, I asked her how she was and then said, “It was all my fault. As a cultivator, it was I who was wrong since I did not conform to the standards of Dafa. I did not do well even as an ordinary sister-in-law—I was wrong. Today let us make up and have a long-anticipated reunion lunch.” Both of us in tears, we shook hands to make peace.

After lunch, we agreed that our whole family would study the Fa together the next day.

My Turnaround Influences My Father-in-law

There were four of us, but I took five copies of Zhuan Falun with me. Then I saw my father-in-law. Usually, the moment we said that we were going to study the Fa, he would leave. That day he didn’t move. I handed him a copy of Zhuan Falun and said, “Please join us.”

My father-in-law said, “Good!” Everyone smiled, but I was in tears and thought, “I am sorry, Dad. If I’d relinquished that sentimentality—that human notion, that attachment—earlier, you might have started to cultivate three years ago.”

My husband said, “This is a special arrangement by Master. Congratulations.” My mother-in-law said, “My dear, you really cultivate well. Every time we spoke on the phone, I could feel you had elevated your xinxing. I want to thank you. Unhappy things have happened, but Dafa is miraculous, and Master is so compassionate. Who could have imagined that the way you changed could help your father-in-law start to cultivate after 21 years? This is truly great news for our family, this is great. Thank you, Master!”

My father-in-law, who did not often speak, said, “This Dafa is great. The change in my daughter-in-law amazed me. This Fa can change even such a proud person! I want to cultivate, too.” We all all put our palms together devoutly to show respect to Master. Thank you, Master!

Master said:

“As you are here to save me, I must first express my gratitude toward you, and I will do my part to make it easier”—it’s nothing like that. As they see it, 'If you are to save me, you have to reach my level first, and you must have this measure of mighty virtue before you can save me. Without such mighty virtue, without having reached my stature, how could you save me?' So they would have you trip and fall, suffer, and eliminate your attachments, after which, with your mighty virtue having been established, you will have cultivated to that level and be able to save them. That’s how they want to have it.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa – Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol XI)

My father-in-law often said, “Not cultivating in the Dao, yet already in the Dao.” At the final stage of the Fa-rectification, my father-in-law has become a cultivator! Our family has become harmonious thanks to Master's tremendous compassion!

Master said:

“Go and truly cultivate yourself—when you get into a conflict or run into some problem you should look at yourself and see what’s wrong, and ask yourself how you should handle it, using the Fa to evaluate things. Wouldn’t you say that is cultivation?” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa – Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol XI)

“When something upsetting happens, something that angers you occurs, or there is personal gain at stake, or your ego suffers a blow, are you able to look inward and cultivate yourself, searching for your own shortcoming, and even when you find yourself in such a situation and you’re not at fault, are you able to have an attitude of, “Oh, I understand—I must not have done well in some regard. Or if I really didn’t do something wrong, perhaps it’s that I’m paying off karma that I owe. I’m going to handle it well and pay off what I should.” And as you continually encounter such things, you should continually cultivate yourself. Then, if a cultivator can handle things in that manner, using true principles to cultivate himself, then aren’t the unpleasant things that you experience in the ordinary world good things? ” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa – Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol XI)

In passing the family test this time, I enlightened to the fact that our own cultivation and behavior will influence our friends, relatives, and neighbors. It is especially significant when it comes to members of our own family deciding to start cultivating Dafa.