(Minghui.org) I was only in my 30s in 1997, but I already had all kinds of illnesses, including lupus erythematosus, gynecological diseases, sinusitis, and heart issues. I had fever and was dizzy every day. My family was poor and had no money for medical treatment. I also had to take care of my two young children. You can imagine how hopeless my life seemed—I was tortured by illness and I was very irritable.
My neighbor, who practiced Falun Dafa, knew my situation and suggested that I try practicing. He asked my husband and me to come to the practice site the next morning. He also suggested that we join the group Fa study in the evening. I agreed to meet him the next morning. However, when morning came, my husband said that he didn’t want to go. I accused him of not fulfilling his promise, so he went with me. It was winter so it was cold and dark.
After my husband left for work, I practiced the exercises I had learned at the site. As I did the second exercise, the Falun Standing Stance, I trembled all over. I opened my eyes and was surprised to see my body covered with red bumps. I felt itchy and uncomfortable, but I was not scared. I hadn’t read Zhuan Falun yet but I felt that it might be a good thing. I knew that Dafa had a Master. I had a sudden thought, “Master, no matter what happens, I will cultivate to the end.” As soon as I thought this I felt a hot current flow through my body. I opened my eyes again and saw that all the red bumps were gone. I was excited and my gratitude to Master was beyond words.
As I continued to practice, all my diseases disappeared. When a fellow practitioner lent me a copy of Zhuan Falun (Volume 2), I found that I didn’t know many of the words in the book, which made me sad. I fell asleep holding the book. When I opened my eyes, the words became as big as the title of Minghui Weekly. I could also see my own cells moving. Everything I looked at was enlarged. I also felt that I understood all the contents of Zhuan Falun (Volume 2). I knew that Master was encouraging me.
My two children also practiced. However, I constantly had conflicts with my daughter. A few times when other practitioners and I read the Fa at her house and talked about our experiences, she became emotional and fiercely accused me in front of everyone. I was confused and wept. Many things happened before I began cultivating—but I felt it was all in the past. I am her mother. When she was young her father was not around. I worked hard to feed and clothe her. She knew the hardships I went through. Why did she only remember the bad days? Didn’t she have any good memories? I was extremely sad. At the same time I felt embarrassed to be scolded by my child in front of fellow practitioners. Although I was carried away by emotion, I knew this was a test, so I maintained my xinxing and did not argue with her.
This happened several times and I could not let it go. It’s really true that tests keep repeating when you cannot pass them. This one was especially serious. The more I thought about it, the more I felt wronged and resentful. I even thought that I would never go back to her place for group-study. Every time I went there, I was criticized. She was now an adult and had no appreciation for what I went through. I told another practitioner that I would not go back to my daughter’s place.
As I read the Fa I calmed down. I understood that I regarded myself as a mother, not a cultivator, and I was not thinking from the Fa’s perspective. I was thinking like an ordinary person—as in, how could she treat her mother like this. I forgot we are also fellow practitioners and she was pointing out where I needed to improve.
Master said:
“...as long as you’re a cultivator, in any environment or under any circumstances, I will use any troubles or unpleasant things you come across—even if they involve work for Dafa, or no matter how good or sacred you think they are—to eliminate your attachments and expose your demon-nature so that it can be eliminated…” (“Further Understanding,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
I am a cultivator. How could I look at this matter like an ordinary person? If I think like an ordinary person who is happy? The old forces, of course. They are happy because they created a gap between us. We are fellow cultivators! I finally understood.
I immediately called my daughter and said, “Love is affection. Hate is also affection. You don’t really mean those words you say. Let’s not go along with the old forces.” Master saw that I was looking inward and removed my attachment. My daughter apologized to me and we haven’t argued since. I realized that the issue was caused by karma.
Master said:
“That’s because whoever the karma falls on, that’s who feels the pain.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I also understood other principles, such as:
“Pacify the External by Cultivating the Internal” (“Pacify the External by Cultivating the Internal,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
I realized that there were many tests regarding family relationships and trivial things in everyday life. I sometimes passed them and sometimes did not. This is cultivation, so I had no deep regrets. I did better when I had a better understanding of the Fa’s principles. I often tell fellow practitioners that I am the rotten apple that Master mentioned. Now that Master has changed the rotten apple into a good one. Master saved our family! Words cannot express my gratitude to Master, I can only be more and more diligent!
This is my personal experience. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
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Category: Improving Oneself
