(Minghui.org) Greetings esteemed Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!
When I began practicing Falun Dafa more than 25 years ago, I was overjoyed, grateful, and felt exhilarated and uplifted. I knew I finally found what I had been looking for. When I read Zhuan Falun, the main book of Falun Dafa, I was shaken to my core. My knowing side awakened, and I felt every cell in my body was filled with Master Li’s (Dafa’s founder) compassion. After years of searching, I knew I found a genuine cultivation school.
Since there was only one exercise group in German-speaking Switzerland at that time, and I lived some distance from Zurich, I learned the exercises by following the illustrations in the book Falun Gong (the introductory book to Falun Dafa). I later found a practice site where I was taught the exercises in greater detail. Feeling humility and devotion I concentrated on the words spoken by Master when I did the exercises. I tried not to let my mind wander, and my body felt very relaxed.
While meditating in the double lotus position, I tried to persevere despite the intense pain in my back and continued beyond my pain threshold. I read the book as if I was a thirsty traveler, absorbing every word. I reflected on what Master said, looked inward to find my attachments and eliminate them.
When a major problem with my husband surfaced, I briefly considered separating. I remembered what Master said. I decided to look inward and was able to gradually let go. That was my first big cultivation opportunity. Today I am infinitely grateful that I did not break up with my husband because of jealousy and emotion.
Although I continued to study the Fa every day, do the exercises, send righteous thoughts, and participate in projects, I often realized that I no longer read with that pure heart I had when I first began practicing. Sometimes I even read the Fa as though I were fulfilling a task and my thoughts wandered. When there were disagreements among practitioners, my thoughts were elsewhere. I later realized that this was disrespectful to our compassionate Master. However, when I began to memorize the Fa, I gained new insights and once again felt inner peace.
Fulfilling the Vow
Master said,
“That is a choice of tremendous significance for any being, and the vow was signed with your very life! Do you think it’s as simple as deciding to practice if you want to, and not if you don’t? Could a human being be allowed to brush off a responsibility of cosmic scale as well as divine ones and the Creator?! You must make good on your vow once you have signed it!” (“Cultivation in Dafa Is Serious”)
So, I asked myself, “Am I taking cultivation lightly?” I realized that sometimes this was true. Wasn’t I occasionally tempted not to do the three things, or my intention while doing them was not pure? I sometimes quietly complained when I faced challenges. Instead of seeing these as opportunities to improve my xinxing, I sometimes looked at difficulties with the attitude of an ordinary person and felt helpless, as though I stood in front of a huge, insurmountable mountain.
Every two weeks German-Suisse practitioners meet for Fa-study near Zurich. A practitioner kindly offered us a large room, which we greatly appreciated. After we met there a few times, two practitioners refused to go there. They felt the room was not “pure” (my expression) or suitable for Fa study. I was astonished, and asked the other practitioners what they thought. After some discussion, we continued holding Fa study there. A practitioner later pointed out that this was creating a division among practitioners, so we should find another location. I understood but thought it was a pity.
At first, I thought that I should not give space to such accusations. I eventually realized that I should not insist on my opinion—instead, I should let it go and be accommodating.
After all these years, I sometimes did things only because I felt I was supposed to do them. Master’s latest lectures showed me that I needed to read the Fa attentively, and not as though I were fulfilling a chore. I needed to be in a calm state so I could truly look inward and see my attachments.
Remaining Calm in the Face of Conflict and Criticism
Conflicts among practitioners were brought to my attention several times and I heard complaints and unfair accusations about myself and others.
At one point practitioners refused to accept a message forwarded by the Falun Dafa Association. Some practitioners no longer wanted to participate in the group Fa study, because they felt fellow practitioners’ expressions or understandings did not correspond to their understanding of the Fa.
This was a real challenge for me, and sometimes I was so perplexed that I didn’t know what to say. How could I clarify the situation to practitioners with compassion? I decided to talk to each practitioner individually. Some understood, but other times I did not have enough compassion or wisdom, and they had difficulty accepting what I said.
When I worried too much, and couldn’t sleep at night I felt a weight on my shoulders. I tried to keep my thoughts calm and understand and handle the situation on the basis of the Fa. I realized this exposed my fear of doing something wrong and losing face. I also realized it was an opportunity to look within, question my own understanding of the Fa, tolerate criticism, and exercise patience and forbearance when others complained. Often it was only when I reflected that I realized I didn’t look inward and let go of my feelings.
Respecting Others’ Opinions
During the COVID pandemic, I was initially astounded by statements made by some practitioners about getting vaccinated, or not. I realized I only looked at it from my point of view. I understood that forbearance is key to letting go of my rigid thinking and that I needed to patiently listen to others. Every practitioner is on a cultivation different level and therefore has a different understanding. I realized that I should not judge practitioners, instead, I should put myself in their shoes. I used to be very rigid and judgmental. Now, I try to understand instead of imposing my understanding on others.
A new practitioner came to the park and did the exercises with us. Since it was hot, she took off her T-shirt and continued doing the exercises wearing her bikini top. I suggested that she might feel cooler if she did the exercises in the shade, and that it was not respectful to do the exercises dressed like that. She stepped away, and did the exercises on her own with her friend who had also taken off her T-shirt.
I knew I could not leave it like that. I needed to overcome my impulse to be judgmental. Instead, I should explain in a way that she could understand. I went to her and explained again, but this time profoundly. She understood and asked if she could hug me. This incident showed me that I must always be patient and respectful of others.
Master said,
“I have not only taught you Dafa, but have also left you my demeanor. While working, your tone of voice, your kindheartedness, and your reasoning can change a person’s heart, whereas commands never could!” (“Clearheadedness,” Essentials for Futher Advancement)
I gained the following insight and understanding from this incident. When I explained to the other person without paying attention to the Fa principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance, they may not accept it, even though what I said was correct. It comes across as being bossy. Most of the time, the other person dismisses it. That is why I try to pay attention to my motive when I say something, and I often silently recite Master’s Fa. There’s an old saying, “The tone of voice makes the music.” For example, if a trumpet player does not hit the exact note, the music is not melodious, on the contrary, there is disharmony.
After German-Swiss practitioners separated from practitioners in French-speaking Switzerland, they became quite proactive. During the process, I had to learn not to supervise everything and to trust Master and the Fa. We were able to organize larger activities such as Shen Yun, Fa conferences, film presentations, etc. independently.
I became even more aware that I had to be responsive and understanding of fellow practitioners, stop being a “know-it-all,” and improve my xinxing.
I thank our esteemed Master for his compassion and for arranging experiences to help me enlighten and see my attachments. I haven’t always appreciated these opportunities. I will try harder and do my best in the final leg of the Fa-rectification. I also thank all my fellow practitioners who have helped me by pointing out where I can improve.
This is my understanding at my current level. Please point out anything inappropriate.
Thank you Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!
(Presented at the 2023 Germany Fa Conference)
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