(Minghui.org) I obtained the Fa in 1997 and have been through thick and thin. If I subtract the time I squandered, the true amount I actually spent cultivating was very limited. That was because I lacked a clear understanding of Dafa. With strong human attachments to my self-image, fame, sentimentality, and a big ego, I used Dafa as a spiritual crutch for a long time. Since I began paying attention to truly cultivating these last few years, if I were to describe the most important thing I learned through cultivating in one sentence, it would be: It is really important to let go of one’s self.
Before I Cultivated or Truly Cultivated
I’m the youngest child in my family and grew up caring for nothing but myself. I liked to be free and hated anything controlling me. I had no thought about saving money and lacked family values. I didn’t think about getting married until I had wandered for a long time and felt tired. I got married at age 33; my eldest brother paid for my wedding.
When my elder sister and her daughter stayed with me, my sister often said, “You treat your home like a hotel.” I had a busy social life. I often came home drunk around midnight and went straight to bed. I threw up sometimes and was unaware that my sister cleaned it up for me. I woke up in the morning and did the same things all over again.
My eldest brother’s comments about me were, “Character determines success or failure,” meaning that I was doomed to be a failure. I didn’t care what he said. I was a wild, unruly character who lived in another world. I was stubborn and would not give up what I was doing.
After I started to practice Dafa, I tried to clarify the truth to my family, but they wouldn’t even accept my materials or ignored me altogether. I looked inside myself for the reason and found aspects of Party culture in my speech and thoughts, for example, force-feeding my thoughts to others, self-righteousness, imposition, impatience, and not allowing others to interrupt.
Beginning True Cultivation
Master told me to be a good person. I wondered what a good person would be like. Some of my family’s past comments came to mind, “Your things are always the most important,” “You cannot take criticism,” and “You never cared how we felt.” They were right. I used to be indifferent to my family’s affairs. Filial piety seemed to have nothing to do with me; it was up to my two elder sisters and older brother.
I have been persecuted for practicing Falun Dafa. It greatly impacted my family and even changed their initial good impression of Dafa. This hindered our communication and prevented them from listening to the truth.
I realized that my selfishness was the problem. Master’s new cosmos only takes altruistic lives, and selfishness is the opposite of altruism. I knew I had to let go of selfishness. I made an important decision: to change myself and start to be altruistic.
My elder brother and elder sister were out of town, so I moved in with my mother to take care of her: going shopping, doing heavy work, and cleaning the house. My mother lived on a small pension after my father passed away. She became obsessed with collecting scraps to sell, which, in her words, was “labor income.” I went with her to sell scrap whenever I was available.
My elder sister was having financial difficulties, so I gave my house to her family to live in because I was single at that time. I helped her daughter select colleges and gave her advice on the applications. I also accompanied her to take the graduate school entrance exam in another city. I helped my elder brother organize his paperwork when he was busy.
At family gatherings, I told my family about traditional culture, about virtue having its reward and evil its retribution, about reincarnation, about being criticized without arguing back, and other stories to try to eliminate the notions of atheism and evolution in their minds.
After several years of effort, my family was happy to see the changes in me, and I finally won them over. Now they are very receptive when I clarify the truth to them.
Cultivating Altruism While Maintaining Material Production Sites
In 2004, fellow practitioner Lu (alias), who was also a former classmate of mine, came to my city to study advertising design and stayed with me. Very few people knew technology at the time, whereas the demand for truth-clarification materials was large.
I spent 5,000 yuan on a desktop computer and installed broadband, so Lu could learn how to use the computer as well as do Dafa work. A small “flower” (a Dafa material production site) blossomed. Lu made great use of the computer and became an expert in our area, helping a lot of local practitioners solve their computer problems.
I also learned some repair skills and helped practitioners solve computer problems. I sometimes worked with fellow practitioners to develop and test out a new method and then posted it on the forum to benefit others. In assisting my fellow practitioners, I experienced the joy of letting go of self and understood the meaning of being altruistic.
During the pandemic, I had to run back and forth to repair devices out of town. Practitioners are rather spread out in that area, and it typically took me an hour by electric bike. I memorized the Fa while riding my bike, and did not waste any time.
My electric bike has carried me over 3,100 miles. I once dropped in at a friend’s store on my way home. He looked at my electric bike, wondering how it could have lasted so long, mumbling, “Is this electric bike of yours enchanted?” I replied, “Yes, it is a magic instrument and just might be enchanted.”
It was as if I saw a golden avenue of cultivation practice stretching ahead of me as I changed little by little. The more I let go of self, the more I know how insignificant and small I am. The more I look inward, the more I realize the boundlessness and greatness of Dafa.
In my opinion, one’s improvement is not about how much one has gained; instead, it is about how much one has sacrificed, how much one has let go, and how much one has done for others.
I then said to Master in my heart, “I will cooperate with my fellow practitioners so that we may walk our paths well together. I will cultivate selflessness and altruism to live up to Master’s merciful salvation.”
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Category: Improving Oneself
