(Minghui.org) Even though my work was fairly stable and my pay relatively decent, I had to deal with all kinds of different people, and I easily lost my patience. I did so especially when I met with clients who were talkative or arrogant. At those times I could become agitated.
With increased Fa study, I gradually came to realize that I had a very strong attachment to complaining. As long as something was not to my liking, no matter how trivial it seemed, my first thought was to complain, be resentful, and feel things were unfair. I knew this resentment was strong, but I didn’t realize that I was controlled by it to such an extent.
I calmed down and thought about it, not having realized earlier that the existence of this matter had caused a great hindrance and interference in my cultivation. Only after I looked inward did I come to understand why I was unable to eliminate resentment. It was because I had all kinds of attachments and notions. One of the attachments was to look down on others. As soon as someone did or said something that I didn’t like, my attachment would flare up immediately.
There was also the attachment of thinking that I was better than others, or at least better in certain ways. Thus, I felt I could look down on others and criticize them. There was also jealousy involved. All these came down to the manifestation of one’s demon nature, which was very evil, and totally against what Master requires of his practitioners.
One time at work, the words “self-interest” appeared in my mind. Isn’t one’s self-interest related to selfishness and ego? When my interests were touched upon, it made me feel uncomfortable, and I began to complain to the point where I couldn’t suppress it. I felt unbalanced and resentful. Fundamentally, it was the fake me at work. It didn’t feel comfortable and began to meddle with me.
I found another fundamental issue, which was when I experienced things, I didn’t look at the issue from a practitioner’s standpoint and treat my discomfort as an opportunity to improve. Instead, I complained about it in order to pursue comfort.
Our way of cultivation targets one’s heart. In order to get rid of those long-standing notions and attachments, I must admit to myself that they are not mine, but rather bad substances formed lifetime after lifetime. When those bad substances manifested, I have to try my best to identify, dispel and suppress them. I must use a practitioner’s righteous thoughts to face them, as opposed to being moved by them.
Once at work, a child wasn’t being cooperative, behaved in a spoiled manner, and was always in a bad mood. My resentment and complaints flared up. I shouldn’t be moved by this and firmed up my righteous thoughts to dispel these negative feelings. Instantly, I felt this substance dissipate and was able to finish my work.
One day after a busy morning, I finally got to take a break at noon. I began to read the Fa. My thoughts were purified by the Fa-principles. With that, the true me awakened. I had one thought: I wanted to cultivate seriously and face every trial with a practitioner’s righteous thoughts. Soon after that, two clients came, one of whom was a child. My first thought was: How come you came while I am having lunch? The child started crying and had a temper tantrum.
This child wasn’t my client to begin with. My colleague who was supposed to take him wasn’t there. I'd had a very busy morning and hadn't eaten and now had to calm him down. I forgot that I was a practitioner. After I finally got him to calm down, I thought I could take a break and eat something. But to my surprise, the child said he felt unwell and refused to tell me why. I had no choice but to resort to all the treatments I had done before. It was a very simple thing to begin with, but because of these series of troubles, I spent almost two hours with him. I was exhausted by this child’s troubles.
When my boss returned, he helped me handle this young child. To my surprise, the child was very cooperative. Without much effort, my boss could complete the work. When I saw the child out, I suddenly realized: Wasn’t the “drama” performed just for me? Wasn’t it for me to cultivate?
My first thought wasn’t right, because I complained. I didn’t realize my thought wasn’t righteous and didn’t rectify myself. Therefore, the whole thing happened. If my first thought would have been righteous, then things might have been different. It still came down to my cultivation state being off.
Stepping Forward to Clarify the Facts
I changed my job last year so that I could have the weekends off. My new boss was very nice, and I was happy there. This arrangement was bestowed upon me by Master, to give me more time to help save sentient beings. I talked with a family member, who is also a practitioner, and we decided to use the time I was not working to go outside and clarify the facts to people face-to-face.
Starting around last August, every morning on my days off, we went to crowded areas to talk to people about Dafa. I didn’t like walking a lot, for fear that my feet would hurt. But miraculously, even after walking for quite some time, my feet didn’t hurt. Master was encouraging me.
The first day we went out to talk to people, we saw quite a few practitioners whom we knew. We were very happy to meet each other and went to a quiet place to talk. They encouraged me and my family member to strengthen our righteous thoughts so that we could save more people, and reminded us to pay attention to safety. They shared some of their experiences when clarifying the facts. The practitioners’ righteous field was very strong. As long as we follow Master’s requirements to walk our path righteously, we’d be empowered by Master and the Fa.
As I was talking with practitioner Ms. Lin, a woman came and sat beside us. Ms. Lin greeted her and she began to talk to us enthusiastically. Ms. Lin talked to her, as I sent forth righteous thoughts. I also spoke from time to time. This woman said that she understood what we said about Falun Dafa, and quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its youth organizations. She also accepted a Dafa amulet before she left.
Master uses all kinds of ways to encourage practitioners. I realized that face-to-face truth-clarification wasn’t as hard as I thought. I should just firm up my righteous thoughts and do what I am supposed to do. From that day on, as long as I had the day off and had nothing else planned, I’d go out to talk to people about Dafa.
I went to a crowded area one time, and saw a man sitting on a bench. He was about to leave, so I took his spot. A women sat beside me and I started talking to her. From our conversation, I realized that she was a Christian, so I talked about Dafa, making reference to plagues, pandemics, and Judgment Day as mentioned in the Bible. She fully agreed with what I said, and agreed to quit the CCP. The process went very well, and I felt empowered by Master.
As I clarified the facts more, I came to see my attachments. I had all kinds of selfish notions in me, such as attachments to how many people I got to quit the Party and fear. My thoughts were suppressed by all kinds of notions and negative thoughts. Every time, before I went out to clarify the facts, I had to go through a long battle between my human and divine side. Only after I firmed up my righteous thoughts and made up my mind to break through those negative substances, did I feel the barrier blocking me let go of . When sharing with other practitioners on this matter, quite a few others had the same feeling. We made the breakthrough by continually breaking through those negative substances.
I chatted with a woman from another city. I was quite relaxed talking to her, but when I asked her to remember the phrases, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” my fear flared up. I asked myself, “Are you a practitioner? Do you even dare to say Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance?” I had a strong will to break through it, and felt a layer of substance pressing down on me disappear. I instantly felt relaxed and continued to talk to her.
Lagging Behind
Looking back on my cultivation, I felt I lagged behind. Especially this year, after the pandemic I developed a strong attachment to comfort and slacked off in my cultivation.
I truly appreciated Master’s empowerment, which provided me with an opportunity to rectify myself. I’ll examine myself based on the Fa, cultivate diligently, and not let down Master.
Thank you Master!
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Category: Improving Oneself
