(Minghui.org) My daughter is an artist who sells her paintings for a living. She’s single and has a pet dog that she treats like a child. She calls self “Mom” and refers to me as the dog’s “Grandma.” I told her she shouldn’t treat it like a human being.
Later, I thought: My daughter is single and lives by herself. She’s already in her 30s, and it doesn’t do any harm to have a pet dog to keep her company. I should just leave her alone. Now I understand from the Fa principles that my thought was wrong, as it was based on my love for my daughter and because I didn’t want to upset her. I was treating the issue with human notions and sentiment instead of helping her based on the Fa principles.
After the New Year this year, my daughter needed to go on a business trip for about ten days. I suggested that she ask her aunt to take care of the dog as her aunt previously said that she could help out. My daughter agreed. But the next day, she changed her mind and said that she still wanted her father and me to take care of the dog—her father had already agreed to do it.
I thought: I should help my daughter when she needs it. I mustn’t give her the impression that because I practice Falun Dafa I don’t care about anything else. Even though we practitioners don’t raise animals or slaughter them, I’m only taking care of a dog for her. What must be, must be. This could be a test for me.
When the dog was brought to my house, I tried to keep a distance and forbade it from entering my room as I don’t like pets anyway. However, by the second day, the dog began following me around. I gradually felt the dog was very cute and I was pleased that it even knew to use the bathroom instead of relieving itself in the house. I thought it wasn’t too bad, and the time would pass quickly.
I started to like the little dog. I often gave it treats, completely ignoring what my daughter said about not feeding it anything but dog food. As a result, the dog refused to eat dog food. When my daughter later asked if I gave it anything else, I lied and said I hadn't. I was behaving like an everyday person, filled with Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture of falsehood.
During the New Year, my husband went out drinking with friends, so I sat home alone with the dog. If I went outside, it barked and scratched at the door, trying to go out with me. I felt sorry for it and decided to stay home to keep it company, with the excuse that if the dog barked, it would upset the neighbors. My main consciousness became very weak and I allowed myself to be manipulated by the old forces, but I did not notice this was happening.
I sometimes reminded myself that the dog was an animal, not a human, and I must not confuse animals with humans. I must do what I needed to do as usual. This helped strengthen my resolve for one day, but the next day I was back to my old ways.
I haven’t done well in face-to-face truth-clarification, and now I was allowing the old forces to interfere with me. I thought: It won’t be too long before my daughter comes back. I’ll try to catch up when the dog is gone. It’s just a few more days.
I was struggling with endless indecision, allowing myself to slide down along the old forces’ arrangement.
I began having headaches and pain in my legs. I knew they were superficial signs to remind me that I had loopholes in my cultivation, yet I found it hard to step out of the trap I was in.
I always walked quickly and I'd never had such headaches before. In fact, Master gave me a hint. Once, while I was meditating, I saw my daughter put an apple on the table in my room. The she ran away laughing. I picked up the apple and saw that it was bit dry, had wrinkled skin, and was dark at the bottom. I thought that I might experience some tests and I must maintain my righteous thoughts.
However, after the little dog came to my house, I forgot the hint. When I wasn’t doing well, I put all the blame on my daughter, thinking that she shouldn’t have left the dog with me.
Cultivation is very serious, and when I meditated I could see that I was sliding down and I lacked righteous thinking.
Even though I studied the Fa and did the exercises, I couldn’t calm down—I was just going through the motions. I studied the Fa, but didn’t obtain the Fa and developed all kinds of attachments and a strong desire for nice food (I put on 3 kilograms in those ten days). I also harbored jealousy, a competitive mentality, lust, and a desire for comfort. I also started watching a TV series, which I hadn’t done for a long time.
When I think about this now, it sends shivers down my spine. I wasn’t behaving like a cultivator at all. I immediately sent strong righteous thoughts to eliminate these human attachments and notions. I wanted to assimilate to Dafa because I came to this world for Dafa. I didn’t burn incense to honor Master during those two weeks because I thought it would be disrespectful to Master to do that when I had a dog in my house.
My daughter returned and, feeling quite pleased, said, “You’ve been quite nice to my dog.” I told her that we Dafa cultivators do not raise any animals or kill them, and we are kind to all beings. When she took the dog home, she told the dog to say goodbye to its “grandma.” I told her I was not the dog’s grandma.
After the dog left, I spent more time on Fa study and sending righteous thoughts, and started to measure my words and actions using the Fa principles so that I could quickly get back on track in cultivation and do the three things better.
I went out to clarify the truth to people and made more effort to let go of my human attachments, human notions, and sentiments. I reminded myself to always look at things with righteous thoughts. The headaches and the pain in my legs disappeared, and I could feel that my dimensional field became cleaner and brighter.
I also realized I had a tendency to look outward whenever I encountered problems. My daughter left the dog with me, an external factor, which reflected my own problems. I failed to behave on the basis of the Fa and developed human sentimentality toward the dog instead of taking the opportunity to cultivate my xinxing. I failed to live up to Master’s kind arrangements and expectations. I was wrong to behave that way.
I realize that I haven’t cultivated diligently over the years and I had many ups and downs. I feel I’m far behind diligent practitioners. However, Dafa is deeply rooted in my heart, and I’m determined to catch up. I will do my best to cultivate myself solidly and do the three things well so that I can accomplish my mission and be worthy of the title of Dafa disciple and worthy of Master’s expectations and compassionate salvation.
The above are some of my experiences and some new insights I gained from them. Please kindly point out anything improper in the sharing.
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Category: Cultivation Insights
