(Minghui.org) Falun Dafa has been part of my life since I was a child, but I didn’t start truly practicing until February 2022. I was born into a farm family in 2000 and was raised by my grandmother, who practices Falun Dafa. So I’ve known from a very young age that Falun Dafa teaches people how to improve themselves.
My grandma was illiterate and sometimes asked me to read Zhuan Falun and Hong Yin to her. I have a good memory and was able to memorize many poems in Hong Yin. I’d read a sentence to my grandma and she would follow along. Eventually, she was able to read the books by herself. My grandma often reminded me to say, “Falun Dafa is good; Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” when something bad happened and Master would protect me.
My grandma’s cultivation state was relatively good at that time, but she slowly fell behind as time went by. For the past few years, she’s had sickness karma and began getting injections and taking medications.
Dafa has been deeply rooted in my heart since childhood. I remembered what Master taught in Zhuan Falun whenever I thought about the meaning of life. Master said, “Everyone has Buddha-nature and the heart for cultivation.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
I tried to practice repeatedly. When I was in middle school, I read Zhuan Falun diligently and it touched me deeply. When I told my grandma I wanted to cultivate, she wasn’t supportive because she was afraid that it might affect my school work. I was disappointed, but I didn’t say anything and gave up.
I later realized that I didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity to practice this wonderful Fa of the universe. I considered practicing again without telling my family, but I worried what might happen if my parents found out. I was young and had to rely on them for everything. So, again, I gave up the thought of cultivation.
During the school break in my freshman year of college, I read Zhuan Falun again and was even more amazed by the principles of Dafa. I took photos of some of the paragraphs in the book and saved them to my mobile phone so that I could read them at school. I wasn’t sure if this was appropriate, but I didn’t have access to many cultivation articles, so I really didn’t know how to practice. I didn’t know how to send righteous thoughts or do the exercises. Although I was an adult and could make my own decisions, I was still afraid. I once again gave up on cultivating.
My desire to cultivate never left me. Deep in my heart, I felt that I had been born for Dafa and would one day become a practitioner, even though I'd failed several times due to my attachment of fear. I felt ashamed before compassionate Master for my failure and decided I would cultivate to the end when the opportunity came again.
During the school break my sophomore year, I learned how to break through the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) internet blockade using my mobile phone. I was thrilled to read so many good articles written by practitioners on the Minghui website. Those articles helped me understand the deeper meanings in Zhuan Falun that I hadn’t recognized before. The articles about eliminating attachments touched me the most, because I had almost all the attachments mentioned. I also discovered that all of Master’s books and writings were available online. All this laid the foundation for my cultivation later.
Reading the books and articles on the Minghui website helped me understand Dafa much better. I understood why humans came to this world and why the Party is persecuting Falun Dafa. I also learned that human morality has been declining drastically. While not quite a practitioner then, I wanted to be a person who conformed to the Fa. So I started trying to change myself.
My family owned a pear orchard. Working in the orchard was hard, especially in the heat of summer, so I used to find excuses to avoid it. But after reading Master’s articles on Minghui, I changed my attitude. I listened to the recording of Master’s lecture in Guangzhou while doing farm work. I later learned that this wasn’t respectful of Master and Dafa, so I stopped. Over time, although my mentality changed, the temptation of novels, TV series, and electronic devices was too great for me to resist. Coupled with my attachment to comfort, I gradually stopped reading the Fa and behaved like an ordinary person.
When I was in middle school, I stayed up late during school holidays and read novels, especially stories that were bloody, violent, or erotic. This bad habit continued into college. Due to this long-term exposure to such bad content, I developed a strong attachment to lust. Lustful thoughts popped into my head anywhere and any time. Stories from the novels I read would suddenly appear in my mind during class, lunch breaks, or at night. I sometimes had lustful thoughts for an hour or two at night, before I fell asleep.
This attachment of lust stubbornly interfered with me from middle school through college. To get rid of it, I focused on studying the Fa. I read Master’s lectures, practitioners’ experience-sharing articles, and the booklet Eliminating Lust and Desires (available in Chinese). Every night, I recited “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” or memorized “On Dafa” in Zhuan Falun. It was difficult to banish my lustful thoughts, because as soon as I repelled one thought, a new one replaced it. Sometimes I succeeded, but other times I failed.
I persisted in repelling my lust for one or two semesters before I read Master’s new article “Wake Up.” The night after reading the new scripture, as I lay in bed with my eyes closed, the usual lustful scenes didn’t appear. They only emerged a little if I thought about them. It was the same every night afterwards. I suddenly realized that Master helped me eliminate part of my attachment. Thank you, Master!
The students who’d been admitted to graduate school without having to take the entrance exam were to be announced in my senior year. Since my grades were on the borderline, I was very anxious and asked Master for help during my junior year summer vacation. I didn’t want to take the exam because I wanted to avoid memorizing the Party’s twisted political theories.
While I was feeling anxious and uneasy, I happened to read an article on the Minghui website about being admitted to graduate school that said, “Believe in Master and the Fa, and academic success comes naturally without asking.” When the list of students was announced, my name was at the bottom. I took this as a hint from Master that I would succeed.
I promised Master that I would take fewer classes so I could spend more free time studying the Fa once I was admitted. But I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t fulfill my promise very well. I slacked off and rarely studied or memorized the Fa. I really felt very ashamed of myself before Master.
Back when I was in high school, I started having a toothache. In my junior year in college, I had a big cavity in my lower right innermost tooth, so I had a root canal and the cavity filled. But the tooth started to hurt again after the school break in 2021 December. I didn’t think it was a big deal, but it turned out that the root of the tooth was inflamed because not all of the nerve had been removed, and the treatment to correct it was rather complicated. The dentist also said that one of my wisdom teeth was impacted and needed to be removed before the root canal was re-done and that I'd need a crown. The whole process would take a while and require multiple visits to the clinic. I was frightened, so I put it off for a few days.
Many practitioners wrote about their experiences of “toothache” on the Minghui website. Some said that their toothache disappeared after they looked within and corrected their shortcomings. Some even reported new teeth growing! I felt a bit better. While I was procrastinating, the dentist had to go to Beijing and school was about to start, so my dental work was postponed.
The toothache continued when classes started. Due to my attachment of fear, I was still undecided about whether to start cultivating. One morning at the end of February, a strong thought suddenly came into my mind: “I want to cultivate.” It was very clear and decisive, without any feeling of fear. Before, I'd always felt afraid if I had the slightest thought about cultivation. Master must have temporarily halted the interference, so that I could truly start practicing!
After I started cultivating, my tooth hurt less. It still bothered me when I ate, but the pain was manageable. By April, it was completely gone. Thank you, Master!
Fear and worry kept popping up like crazy for the first two weeks of cultivation. I worried if I would be able to persist and cultivate in an upright manner, if my family, especially my grandma, would objected to my cultivation. I worried what my classmates would think if they knew I practiced Dafa. I worried that I might be expelled if my college found it out. I worried that my family might be affected if I didn’t cultivate diligently. I also worried if I would be able to bear the outcome if I failed to validate the Fa and clarify the truth. Those thoughts really shook my will to cultivate and sometimes made me even doubt Dafa.
Deep in my heart, I’ve believed in Dafa since I was a child. So, to strengthen my faith and eliminate my attachment of fear, I diligently studied the Fa, memorized Zhuan Falun, read the Minghui website, and listened to Minghui Radio.
My family didn’t fully agree with Dafa. The cultivation sharing experiences by other practitioners supported me and strengthened my confidence to convince my family. Some described in their articles how they went through family difficulties and changed their family’s attitude about Dafa. I was moved by their kindness and compassion, as well as their indestructible righteous thoughts.
I also listened to the program “Removing Party Culture” on Minghui Radio, and I read Disintegrating Party Culture. These deepened my understanding of the evil specter of communism. I knew that the Party killed so many innocent people and committed countless criminal deeds. It will be destroyed—it’s just a matter of time. My fear of the Party and my negative thoughts weakened, but they have not been completely eliminated.
Although I believe that Master will eventually help me get rid of my attachment of fear and negative thoughts, they are still reflected in many aspects of my life. I don’t dare tell my classmates the facts about Falun Dafa. I haven’t yet told my family that I’m cultivating because I’m still worried and still a little afraid of the Party. In time, I am sure that I will be able to completely get rid of this fear.
I am very fortunate to be able to practice Dafa at this final period in history. Through Fa study, my xinxing has improved a bit. I gave up on cultivation so many times before, but I will not miss the opportunity this time. I will resolutely follow Master and cultivate to the end. I hope that one day I will truly be worthy of the sacred title “Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple.”
Most of the practitioners I have met are elderly. I sincerely hope that more young people can start practicing and that we can share cultivation experiences together!