(Minghui.org) After cultivating Falun Dafa for so many years, I understand that studying the Fa is most important and that only Dafa can guide me forward. Master has constantly watched over me, allowing me to improve in my cultivation.
Letting Go of Sentimentality
When some practitioners said that I was too sentimental, I replied, “I don’t feel that I am!” I hadn’t truly realized the harm done by sentimentality.
Last April when my husband asked me, “Why don’t you ask our daughter what’s wrong?” I said, “Why? Is there something wrong with her?” “Haven’t you noticed?” he said. “She is so thin. Is she sick? You should tell her to see a doctor if she’s sick. She can’t afford to delay.” I agreed.
In early May, my daughter and I went to our hometown on the anniversary of my late father’s death to visit his grave. On our way back, I asked her, “Why did your father say you’re so thin? What’s wrong with you?” She started to cry and asked, “How do you know when someone is going to change?” I said, “When they become wealthy or hold positions of power—that’s when they’re more likely to change.” She cried even more bitterly and said, “Your son-in-law has a mistress.” “How could this have happened?” I exclaimed. She said that she’d found out that it was absolutely true.
I felt as if I’d been struck by lightning. Anger surged to the top of my head. I thought I shouldn’t be moved by anything, but how could I control myself? My heart was churning inside, but I didn’t show it.
Back home, I was in even more turmoil and it was almost uncontrollable. I could not bring myself to tell my husband—I didn’t want him to know about it. I wanted to see how things would unfold first.
I was so distressed, I started to cry. I thought to myself, “How did this happen? Back then, my daughter didn’t care about wealth or family background and ignored us when we tried to interfere. She married a man she chose, who was poor. And now look what he has done. It is so unfair!” My husband noticed my mood and asked what was wrong. I ignored him, so he thought I was upset about visiting my father’s grave and said, “No need to be sad.”
I completely forgot that I was a cultivator and got agitated. Feelings of resentment, blame, contempt, and anger surged within me. It is easy to talk about these things, but when it happened to me, it was different. I thought about ways to retaliate against the “mistress” and completely forgot that I was a cultivator. A fighting mentality took over. My unwillingness to let go of my attachments gave the old forces an opportunity to intervene and attack me.
When I next went to our group Fa study, just as I entered the building, four or five plainclothes officers surrounded me. One of them called me by name and grabbed my bag. I thought to myself, “My loophole is about my daughter.”
“What are you doing?” I asked. The officer who took my bag said, “We’re from the National Security Division, and we’ve been watching you for a long time. Which apartment are you going to?” Instead of answering, I asked him his name. He took out a small notebook and flashed it so I could see his name. He asked me again, “Which apartment are you going to?” I didn’t reply, so they handcuffed me, dragged me into a police car, and took me to the station.
When I refused to cooperate, they locked me in a fenced area made of welded pipes. As soon as I entered, I shouted, “Falun Dafa is good!” Then I sat down and began to send righteous thoughts. I said to Master, “Master, I have done wrong. I have been too attached to my daughter. I will definitely let go of this attachment.” I begged Master again, “Master, don’t let the authorities go to my home. I don’t want them to find my equipment. Please shield them.” I kept sending righteous thoughts.
I recalled Master’s Fa:
“Your body lies in prison—don’t be sorrowful, don’t be sadWith righteous thoughts and righteous actions, Fa is hereCalmly reflect on how many attachments you haveAs you get rid of human mentality, evil is naturally defeated”(“Don’t Be Sad,” Hong Yin II)
I knew that whatever anyone else said didn’t matter; only what Master says counts, and I continued to send righteous thoughts. Under Master’s protection, without signing any documents, I returned home that same evening.
This profound lesson woke me up: It is very dangerous to hold onto attachments. The old forces are constantly watching my every move. The moment they find a loophole, they will strike. I must hold myself to the principles of the Fa constantly.
I shared my daughter’s situation with other practitioners. One said, “People nowadays are immersed in a giant dye vat. Look at the CCP officials—how many of them don’t have mistresses? This is a manifestation of moral decay. Isn’t this current situation due to your attachment? Didn’t you notice your attachment before?”
Could it be that my daughter encountered this difficulty because she treated others similarly in a past life? I said to Master, “Master, I need to let go of my attachment of sentimentality.” During Fa study, whenever negative thoughts arose, I would reject them and correct myself. That deeply-rooted sentimentality gradually disappeared, and my daughter’s situation also calmed down.
Given this incident with my daughter, I realized that Master is always watching over his disciples, observing our every thought. Any unfavorable situation in our cultivation can be transformed into a positive one. Challenges and demonic tribulations are simply opportunities for me to improve and chances to look inward. This is the path I must take in my cultivation. Master has repeatedly reminded us to study the Fa more and more. Whatever problems or disturbances we encounter in cultivation, Master tells us in the Fa how to handle them. If I didn’t do well, it would truly be because I didn’t study the Fa well and enough, and didn’t truly assimilate myself to the Fa.
Cultivating Myself with the Fa
After I started making truth-clarification materials, I felt a sense of superiority. How so? First, I felt that I was better educated than the other practitioners around me. Second, I was better off financially, so I was obsessed with getting involved in different Dafa projects, wanting to do everything, which resulted in my falling behind in Fa study. Although I didn’t neglect doing the exercises, my xinxing didn’t keep up. This led to instances of losing focus when I sent righteous thoughts, and feeling drowsy during Fa study. I was sometimes so drowsy when studying the Fa that I dropped my book. I didn’t study the Fa well and didn’t cultivate my xinxing, I was just like an ordinary person doing Dafa work. This persisted, and I couldn’t break free from it. It seemed as if I was cultivating Dafa, but in reality, I wasn’t cultivating myself. I kept busy, enjoying what I was doing and regarding doing the projects as cultivation.
Master saw that I wasn’t awakening and used other practitioners to enlighten me. During one group Fa study, Bei corrected a word I’d misread. Hua said, “She didn’t read it wrong.” That angered Bei, who said, “Wouldn’t it be better to read it one more time?” Then he turned to me and said, “You’re always drowsy while reading the Fa, and you often lose focus when sending righteous thoughts. What are you doing?” I was ashamed and couldn’t respond.
After dinner at home, I reflected on that exchange. I knew that what Bei pointed out to me was correct, and that other practitioners had pointed out similar issues to me, but I never took them seriously. This time, Master used their words as a heavy hammer to awaken me. I thought deeply and looked inward: After so many years of cultivation, had I truly assimilated into the Fa? Master repeatedly urges practitioners to study the Fa more and to study it well. Had I done that? I had the attachments of selfishness, being self-centered, resentment, vindictiveness, impatience, and arrogance, among others. I said, “Master, I’m sorry! Fellow practitioners, thank you! From today onward, I will correct myself.”
I started to focus on actual cultivation. When sending righteous thoughts, I would keep my eyes open. But it was not as easy as it sounds: Whenever I did close my eyes, my hand would fall. It was excruciating, but I persevered in denying it: “Drowsiness, you’re not allowing me to attain the Fa, I won’t listen to you.” I begged Master: “Master, I don’t want this drowsiness, it’s not me, and I don’t want it, I want to study the Fa.” In an instant, I was no longer drowsy.
Reading practitioners’ experience sharing articles is very helpful. One practitioner wrote, “Actual cultivation means using the Fa to rectify one’s thoughts and actions in daily life, continuously upholding the fundamental principles of Dafa. Only then can one truly improve.” I realized the seriousness of cultivation and the need to be meticulous. I have been steadily rectifying myself with the Fa and eliminating various attachments. After doing this for a while, I have reaped abundant rewards.
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