(Minghui.org) We had lunch at our son’s house in March. My daughter-in-law was about to give birth, and my husband talked to our son about buying books, toys, and clothes for the baby. He also mentioned to me that we should buy pajamas for our son and daughter-in-law, which seemed ridiculous to me. I responded, “Why do you worry so much? The baby hasn’t been born yet!” My husband got upset and started scolding me in a low voice.
I didn’t say anything, but I silently complained that he would do anything for our son and daughter-in-law. When our son was little, he promised to buy a house for him even if he had to sell household things. As a result, our son had low self-motivation, could not think independently, would often look for the easy way out, and had a low sense of responsibility. One good thing, however, is that he understood Falun Dafa is good and supported my practicing.
After we helped clean up, we were ready to go back home. My husband decided to take the bus because he consumed some alcohol, and I would ride my electric bike. I didn’t know and was not aware that there was anything wrong with my thoughts.
The roads were covered with snow and ice since it snowed heavily for a few days. I fell and was thrown far away from my bike. My helmet flew off and my head hit the ground. I could feel the left side of my face skid along the road. I couldn’t get up, and my face was in great pain, as well as the left side of my body.
Two young men who were riding their electric bikes behind me stopped and asked if I was okay, I told them I was fine. They picked up my bike and left. I sat on the ground and wondered if someone could give me a hand, but saw no one around. I slowly got up and stood on the side of the road for a long time. When I looked in the rear view mirror, my appearance was scary. The left side of my face and the corner of my eye was red and swollen, with blue and purple bruises. It was frightening to look at. I got on the bike and slowly rode it, thinking that what happened was not accidental, and I needed to look inward. Why did I fall so hard?
I realized that I didn’t insist on practicing the exercises every morning. I also had a disagreement with my husband, which was wrong and involved many human notions. First, I did not allow others to make suggestions that I didn’t agree with. Second, after I was scolded by my husband, even though I kept my mouth shut, I silently complained, looked down on him and was sarcastic. I had neither kindness nor tolerance, and while I seemed peaceful on the surface, I was upset.
I felt ashamed and frightened. I have practiced cultivation for 31 years, but I still have so many negative thoughts.
When I have such bad thoughts, haven't I deviated from the supreme characteristics of the universe? Was I still a cultivator? I should study the Fa well, purify myself, and achieve the standards required by Master. Fa-rectification is at the very end, and every thought is crucial. We should catch up and return to our origins with Master.
Thank you compassionate Master! Thank you for everything you have given your disciples!
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Category: Improving Oneself
