(Minghui.org) I’ve practiced Falun Dafa for more than 20 years, but I only recently understood the importance of looking inward.
I began practicing in 1997 and I’ve gone through many trials and tribulations. When I look back I realize that I did not truly know how to look inward. Whenever I ran into difficulties, I examined myself to see if I had the mentality of fighting or sentimentality—but it seemed as though as long as I looked for my attachment, the issue would be taken care of. I cultivated superficially, so I felt cultivation was tiring and challenging.
Another practitioner and I had a long discussion about how to look inward. Afterwards, I began looking inward in a different way. I considered whether I was “moved.” For example, was I upset, tempted, or emotional—as a cue to look inward.
Looking inward should reveal the root cause behind the thought. When we are in a conflict with someone we usually feel we are correct, and the other person is wrong. I asked myself why I felt upset, and the answer was almost always: “They did something wrong because they did this.” After a few times, I realized that my response was wrong. No matter how justified I felt I was, my reasoning was based on ordinary people’s principles.
Cultivation is about cultivating myself, not others. I asked myself, “Would a divine being be ‘moved’ like me in the same situation? Of course not!” I decided to change. When I wanted to cultivate and do well I could sense Master helping me. I felt my thoughts change slowly, and in the end, I truly understood that my attachments triggered the tribulation and I found the source of my problem.
For example, my husband and I are close, so I tell him, “Why did you do that again? How many times have I told you?” Even if I felt that I was in the right, I could see that he was unhappy, and I felt bad. Seeing that I was moved, I looked within and asked myself why he was unhappy.
I realized that if I didn’t have an attachment, he wouldn’t have reacted that way. Then I realized I had a loophole—I looked down on him. Which of my attachments was motivating this?
Master told us,
“Jealous types look down upon others and don’t allow others to surpass them. When they see someone more capable than they, their minds lose all perspective, they find it unbearable, and they deny the fact.” (Chapter III, Falun Gong)
After reading what Master said, I realized that looking down on others is a form of jealousy. Digging deeper, I wanted to change others when their thoughts and deeds did not conform to my standards. Wasn’t this CCP ideology? I saw I could dig out quite a few “human hearts” by digging deeper.
When those human hearts were moved, I felt uncomfortable and upset, as if something was pressing down on my heart. But when I said I did not want them, they were eliminated! I wanted to cultivate away those human hearts—they were formed postnatally and were not mine. When I had this thought I felt Master remove the negative substance! This was a particularly noticeable when I looked inward. When that substance was taken away, I suddenly felt lighter, and I also felt every cell in my body rejoicing!
Master asked us to look inward, so we need to actually do this. We should cultivate ourselves, and understand, and experience how our attachments and notions are eliminated. Then, when the next test comes we will clearly feel that attachment or notion is not ours. The process allowed me to see that what pushed me to have conflicts and be upset was truly a substance!
We often don’t want to give up some attachments or notions because we don’t profoundly realize how much they affect our cultivation. We can only truly eliminate them if we genuinely feel they are not interfering with us. So, after finding the attachments and human hearts, we must continue to realize how harmful they are to cultivation and saving people before we can have a deeper understanding and the determination to eliminate them.
We should always look for the cause of our negative mentality and emotions. The cause is easy to see if we dare to look at it squarely because it’s right on the surface. Once we catch it, we should immediately reject and eliminate it. The best time to eliminate it is when it surfaces.
This is hard to do if we wait until the conflict is over and then look for the attachment. When we are calm, detecting and catching attachments and human notions is very challenging.
There are different levels of looking inward. As we improve, we’ll be able to recognize our attachments and notions as soon as we see them. Then, we’ll gradually be able to look deeper into our hearts and improve.
If we want to develop a mechanism for looking inward, we should start as soon as we feel a little unhappy or upset when something doesn’t go our way. This mechanism will begin to form if we can look inward whenever we are tempted. I remember when I first began looking inward, I made a habit of asking myself: “Why am I moved?” as soon as I felt upset. I kept digging until I felt that I got to the bottom of the problem.
We need to be vigilant. As soon as we are moved, we should immediately ask ourselves: “Why am I upset?” We should make this a habit. Over time, whenever we encounter a problem, the mechanism of looking inward will automatically start asking us questions, and we will actively look inward.
I often hear others talk about cultivating every thought. I think this is very difficult to do unless one has a solid cultivation foundation.
A practitioner can only focus on the test before him and not on his every thought if his foundation has not been laid well, when his heart has not been purified to a certain degree, and when his discernment is not mature. Cultivating one’s every thought is a gradual process; but as long as one keeps at it, one can do it.
When practitioners have cultivated themselves well, because they have made a habit of looking inward they can persevere and cultivate every thought, even when they are in the midst of an intense tribulation. They can catch thoughts that are not in line with the Fa. That means they are aware of their every thought and see when it’s not in line with the Fa.
If one is not aware at the moment, one has not yet cultivated to that level. He should continue to look inward and will be able to improve little by little.
We should find out whether there is a hidden human heart behind every unintentional thought. Unless our main consciousness is actively looking within, any unintentional thought that suddenly surfaces is very likely not from us. We should find our notions and human hearts behind these unintentional thoughts and not let them slide, then eliminate them if they are not in line with Fa.
Master told us,
“You aren’t just doing personal cultivation—your own cultivation is saving the beings in the gigantic cosmic bodies that you represent.”(Teachings From a Tour of North America)
Clarifying the truth can save those sentient beings we are responsible for and so can improving ourselves. It is equally important to cultivate ourselves well.
This is my understanding at my level. Please point out anything inappropriate.
Editor's note: This article only represents the author’s understanding at their current cultivation level and is meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare in studying, compare in cultivating.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)